Ashamed
by RachRox12
Summary: Clare Edwards and Fitz are dating, soon things begin to change, will they make it through together?
1. Chapter 1 Ashamed

Burning Love

Chapter 1: Ashamed

I do not own Degrassi.

Summary: A Flare fanfiction.

Sorry if this is really bad, it's my first fanfiction.

"Hey babe." Fitz said leaning against the locker next to Clare's. Clare looked up at leaned in to kiss her. Clare sighed "Not here Fitz." Clare hissed . Fitz groaned.

"Come on Clare we've been going out for months now, are you ashamed of me?" Fitz asked looking at Clare with such intensity in his eyes it made Clare take a step back from him. Fitz noticed this and stepped forward. He leaned down and whispered in her ear. "I'll see you at your house at 5." He pulled back and walked off down the hallway, shoving Dave against a locker along the way. Clare closed her locker door and sighed.

School dragged on as usual, Clare kept looking at her watch every five minutes, she couldn't wait to spend the afternoon with Fitz. At last the bell rang. Clare quickly exited the classroom and went to her locker. She then got the books she needed and headed for home.

Once home Clare checked the phone for messages, and sure enough there was one from both of her parents who were working late till 7, Clare sighed and headed upstairs and unpacked her bag. She then went downstairs into the living room and flipped on the TV. Clare groaned. "Nothing worth watching." Clare moaned. At exactly 5.00pm she heard the doorbell ring. She leaped up off the couch and answered the door. "Hey babe." She said, to Fitz who leaned down and kissed her. Clare took his hand and led him to the living room. They sat on the couch. "My parents won't be home till 7." Clare said kissing Fitz who after a few seconds pulled back. "What?" asked Clare. Fitz sighed and looked at Clare.

After a few short seconds Fitz asked "Are you ashamed of me?" Clare looked at him and gulped. Fitz saw her reaction and took a deep breath "Ok then, bye Clare." He said gruffly, he stood up and headed for the door. "Fitz wait!" Clare called after him getting up and following him.

It's not very good, but I'd appreciate your comments. Thanks.

Microsoft Office (docx)


	2. Chapter 2 Explanation

Ashamed

Chapter 2: Explanation

Summary: Clare and Fitz are dating but what happens when Clare becomes ashamed of him?

"Fitz wait up!" Clare exclaimed going after him. Fitz ignored her and kept heading for the door. Clare caught up with him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him into a hug, which Fitz pulled back from.

"Fitz, you mean the world to me." Clare said looking into his eyes. Fitz shook his head.

"Clare, you're ashamed of me." Fitz said. He looked like he was about to start crying. Clare shook her head. "Fitz, I'm sorry, I can't help the way i feel, it's just that you bully people who have done nothing wrong to you." Clare said trying to stop herself from crying. "I feel a little embarrassed." Clare finished looking at Fitz, waiting for his reaction. She watched Fitz take a deep breath.

"I'm a bully, that's who I am, and if you're just so embarrassed by me, then why are you with me?" Fitz said his voice rising with every word. Clare took a step back from him a little scared. Fitz saw that. "What you think I'm going to hit you?" Fitz cried on the verge of hysteria. Fitz started laughing. Clare was just watching him laugh. "Fitz..." Clare began but was interrupted by Fitz saying.

"You actually think I would physically hurt you? I can't believe you would think that of me!" Fitz said putting his hand to his head. Clare stepped forward a little, just close enough to lift her hand up to caress Fitz's cheek. "I'm not scared of you Fitz; in fact I think I love you." Clare said boldly. She watched Fitz's face turn from disbelief to happiness. "You love me huh?" Fitz asked. Clare nodded. Fitz leaned down and kissed with pure passion. They pulled back for a breath. "I love you too." Fitz said smiling as he leaned down and kissed her again. They were pulled back, and walked upstairs towards Clare's bedroom.

Please review.


	3. Chapter 3 Over

Ashamed

**Summary: Clare and Fitz are dating, but soon Clare begins feeling ashamed of him because of his bullying ways.**

"See you tomorrow." Clare said before kissing Fitz goodbye.

"Yeah see you then too." Fitz said leaving Clare's house in his car.

Clare sighed happily. After all she had an amazing boyfriend, awesome friends. Her parents could be better, but sometimes love just fizzles out.

"Hey Babe." Clare said the next morning to Fitz when he was picking her up the next day to go to school.

"Hey yourself." Fitz said, Clare leaned in like she was going to kiss him, Fitz leaned in as well. But right before their lips contacted, Clare moved and quickly pecked him on the cheek. Fitz sighed. Clare smiled then opened the passenger door and slid in. Fitz walked around and hopped in.

Once at school, Fitz did all the usual things and walked Clare to class. They would quickly kiss then go their separate ways. In English Clare went and sat behind Eli and across from Adam.

"Hey guys." Clare greeted. Adam smiled and Eli turned around.

"Hey Clare, how's Fitzy boy?" Eli said faking interest. Clare sighed.

"What's your problem Eli? You said you were cool with me going out with him." Clare said looking at Eli.

"I am ok with it." Eli said.

"But" Clare said leaning slightly forward.

"But, part of me thinks he's just using you for sex, he gloats to all his friends about you two, I just think you deserve someone who respects you because your an amazing person." Eli said. Clare leaned back in her chair taking in what he said. She didn't have time to answer because Mrs. Dawes began class. The entire way through class, all Clare could think about was what Eli had said. Fitz wouldn't do such a thing like that would he? He couldn't. He told her he loved her yesterday. What if he didn't mean it? Clare suddenly got worried. Then angry, how could he talk about something so private like that? Especially to his caveman friends, then her mind flashed to what Eli had said about her. Eli thinks she's amazing? Clare didn't know why but she suddenly felt kind of giddy when she thought about that. When the bell rang for the end of class, Clare got her things then left for her locker after saying goodbye to Adam and Eli.

"Hey Fitz, I need to talk to you in private." Clare said once she's arrived at Fitz's locker. Fitz nodded and closed his locker.

"What's up babe?" He asked. Clare took a deep breath.

"Are you telling your friends about our sex lives?" Clare asked watching Fitz's face for a reaction. Fitz looked down, in an instant she knew what Eli had said was correct.

"Ok, then Fitz it was nice while it lasted, have a nice life." Clare said before turning around and leaving before Fitz could say anything.

**There you have it the next chapter, I've been having really bad writers block, so any help would be appreciated. Review.**


	4. Chapter 4 Flashbacks

Ashamed

**Summary: Clare and Fitz are dating, but both Clare and Fitz make mistakes. Will they stay together or fall apart.**

"Hey Clare." Eli said once she sat down at the picnic table Eli and Adam were seated at.

"Hey" She answered. Adam nodded his hello.

"So, I heard Fitz crying in the locker room today." Eli said looking at Clare; he saw a flicker of guilt pass her eyes.

"Oh." Was all Clare could say. Did she make 'The Mark Fitzgerald' cry?

"Did you dump him or something?" Adam asked. Clare nodded. She looked at the boys expressions.

"What?" she asked looking from Adam to Eli.

"You don't seem very upset about the break up." Adam said.

"I dumped him." Clare said shrugging.

"And your fine with that?" asked Eli. Clare looked at him and said

"I'm totally and completely fine with it." Eli and Adam both smiled.

"Cool, because we wanted to know so that when we mock him you don't get upset." Adam said. Clare laughed at how happy they were that she and Fitz were caput.

"It's not that we're happy you don't have a boyfriend anymore, it's just that you made the

School bully cry like a little girl." Eli said smirking. Clare smiled.

"I guess I did." Clare said.

A few hours later Clare was going onto her laptop, she saw that her background was a picture of her and Fitz; she'd sweet talked him into letting her take the picture of them together. He looked so good looking and he was really sweet, when he was alone with her. He was a sweet and sensitive guy with her; he let his guard down with her. With his so-called friends Fitz is a jerk, someone who preys on the weak. Part of her wondered what she ever saw in him the first place. The answer was that he was sweet to her. She remembered how they'd first started hanging out.

_It was 6 months ago; Clare was at her locker getting books out for her next class. She had just closed her locker when Owen showed up. "Hey saint Clare, wanna lose the sain part?" He asked playing with a piece of stray hair from Clare's face. _

"_Go away Owen." I had said trying to walk past him, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him. "Let go." I said looking at him, Owen smirked. Suddenly he let go of my wrist and I watched as Owen was pushed hard against the lockers beside me._

"_Leave her alone Owen."I heard a rough voice say. I turned to see Fitz standing there glaring at Owen. Owen looked from me to him. "Not worth it." Owen said before walking off. I turned to Fitz "Thanks." I said. Fitz nodded._

"_No problem, Owen's a dumbass anyway." Fitz said. "Anyway, I need to ask you for a favour." Fitz said looking at me. "Ok, what do you want?" I asked._

"_I need a tutor for English, can you help?" He asked. I bit my bottom lip, a habit of mine. Fitz couldn't be that bad? Could he? "Yeah ok, the Dot this afternoon 4 o'clock don't be late." I said. Fitz nodded before walking off._

Fitz saved me that day, that afternoon Fitz and I got on pretty well. Soon we were hanging out more often, A few weeks later Fitz and I were studying in my room one afternoon.

"_This is so boring." Fitz groaned before dropping his book on the bed. I looked at him._

"_We've only been studying for, like, 10 minutes." I said. Fitz groaned again. He laid back on my bed his head hitting the pillow with a thud. I put my book down and turned my body to him, I crossed my legs. _

"_You are so lazy." I said poking his stomach. He laughed._

"_Yeah, what are you going to do about it?" He asked smirking. I smiled and started tickling him. He laughed and begged me to stop. He pulled me on top of him. I flushed slightly at how close we were. Fitz gulped and cupped my cheek. He leaned forward. I hesitated at first but closed the gap between us._

That kiss was just amazing. I knew at that moment that we were meant to be. I guess now we aren't.

**Please Review.**


	5. Chapter 5 Fitz's thoughts

**Ashamed**

**I love all of you have been giving me such great feedback. So here is for a new chapter. This will all be about Fitz's reaction to Clare breaking up with him.**

Fitz couldn't believe that Clare had just broken up with him. She knows he loves her. And she told him she loved him too. Fitz stood leaning against his locker watching Clare walk away from him. Sure he had told some of his friends abut him and Clare's relationship. But they said they weren't going to tell anyone else or Fitz was going to bash their faces in. But how did Clare find out about that? Fitz was stopped from thinking further when Owen and Bianca came up to him. "Yo Fitz coming to the ravine?" Owen asked.

"Yeah, let's go." Fitz answered picking up his bag and swinging it over his shoulder.

At the ravine, Fitz was sitting on a fold out chair drinking a bottle of beer. Bianca sat beside him smoking a cigarette. Owen was leading a drunken girl that Fitz couldn't recognize into a van. Fitz shook his head, leaning back in his chair. Bianca turned to him, swaying a bit.

"Fitz, what's up with you? You seem weird." Bianca asked. Fitz could see she was actually concerned. Bianca didn't seem like it but she's actually a pretty decent chick. The two of them had formed a brother sister relationship. She was he only one of Fitz's friends who he talked to about Clare. "Clare dumped me today, she found out I was talking about our relationship to people." Fitz admitted looking down at the beer bottle in his hand. Bianca shifted in her chair.

"Idiot, you do know that what you did was wrong?" Bianca asked sighing. Fitz nodded. "I know what I did was stupid, but I really love Clare, she's everything to me." Fitz said slightly blushing. He hated talking about his feelings to his friends. He looked up at Bianca who was smirking.

"What?" Fitz asked, feeling slightly self conscious.

"You love Clare, its sweet, talk to her maybe she'll understand." Bianca said opening a can of beer and taking a swig. Fitz nodded. Standing up, he suddenly felt light headed. "I feel sick." Fitz slurred. The alcohol was starting to sink in. Bianca laughed lazily. "That's what 6 beers do to you." Bianca said laughing. Fitz stumbled his way away from the ravine and towards Clare's.

Clare was getting ready for bed; she was pulling down the covers, when she suddenly heard a big tapping at her window. She turned and saw Fitz there. She sighed. She made her way to her window and opened it.

"Fitz go away." She said. Fitz shook his head swaying to the side a bit.

"No, no I need to talk to you." Fitz slurred.

"Fitz, your drunk aren't you?" Clare said exasperated.

"Possibly." Fitz said. Clare stepped aside and Fitz climbed into her room. Clare crossed her arms across her chest.

"Clare I love you. You know that. I want to be with you." Fitz said putting his hands on Clare's shoulders. Clare looked at him. For one second Clare was going to give in and hug him but didn't.

"It's not up to you Fitz." Clare said looking at him sadly. Fitz was about to say something when Clare's mother walked in.

"Clare honey, what are you still doing up?" She said before noticing Fitz standing there. "Clare explain to me why Mr. Fitzgerald is in here." She demanded. Clare looked at her mum. She was about to explain when Fitz jumped in before her. "Mrs. Edwards, I'm here telling your daughter that I love her."

"That may be but I think you should go." Helen, Clare's mum said. Fitz looked at Clare.

"Mind if I use the stairs this time?" Fitz asked. Once Helen nodded, Fitz leaned down and kissed Clare on the cheek.

"Have good evening ladies." Fitz said before leaving. Helen turned to her daughter who was looking guilty.

"Go to bed sweetie." She said before leaving. Clare sighed and sat on her bed. Fitz is so annoying sometimes. But in the end Clare realized that she will always love Fitz.

**This is not the end. If you're wondering Fitz and Eli never had their feud, Clare's parents aren't getting divorced or fighting and Bianca is more like a sister to Fitz then a friend. So I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I've been having** **severe writers block. I hope you review.**


	6. Chapter 6 I'll talk to her

**Ashamed**

**Summary: Clare and Fitz were dating now Fitz is determined to get her back.**

The next day at school Clare and Alli were walking up the front steps when Eli walked up to them. "Hey ladies." He said putting an arm around Clare and Alli's shoulders. Fitz lit up another cigarette and stared angrily over at Eli who had an arm swung over his Clare. He watched Clare blush and laugh at something Eli had said. Bianca sashayed up to Fitz. "Did you tell her?" she asked smirking. Fitz nodded. Bianca's smirk turned into a smile. "So are you two back together?" she asked. Fitz shrugged.

"I don't know." He answered looking down and stubbing his cigarette under his shoe. Bianca sighed. "I'll talk to her." Bianca said before walking towards Clare who was now sitting by herself near the top of the staircase. Fitz tried to grab Bianca's arm and pull her back but missed. "Bianca don't!" Fitz exclaimed. Bianca just kept walking. Fitz groaned and walked towards Owen who was trying to chat up some girls.

Bianca walked up to Clare who was reading a book. Bianca stood in front of her.

"Excuse me, Clare but I need to ask you something." Bianca said. Clare looked up.

"Why?" Clare asked putting her book down.

"Fitz is like a brother to me, he loves you, do you love him?" Bianca said. Clare took a deep breath. "I do know he loves me, I love him, I really do, but I don't think I can trust him." Clare said. Bianca smirked a little. Clare lobed Fitz, it was cute, Fitz deserves to be happy. "How come you don't trust him?" Bianca asked.

"It's just that Eli told me he was bragging to Owen and the others about our sex lives." Clare explained. Bianca shook her head.

"Fitz doing that was stupid, I agree, but he loves you and the guys aren't going to say anything." Bianca said. Clare shook her head.

"That doesn't matter, that stuff is supposed to be private." Clare said standing up.

"I'm sorry I've got to go." Clare said before swinging her bag over her shoulder and picking up her book and walking into Degrassi. Bianca sighed, bloody Fitz. She walked over to Fitz and Owen.

"What she say to you?" asked Fitz. Bianca shook her head.

"Sorry dude but she doesn't want to be with you." Bianca said smiling sadly. Fitz grabbed the closest trash can and flung it away from him. "Fucking hell!" He yelled. Bianca grabbed his arm. "Chill, you need to go and talk to her." Bianca said. Fitz took a deep breath and nodded. Fitz swung his bag securely over his shoulder and walked towards the school.

**There you have it. No matter if you love it or you hate it please review anyway. **


	7. Chapter 7 Another Chance

**Ashamed**

**Summary: Fitz and Clare were dating; Fitz is going to do whatever it takes to get her back.**

"Clare, please can we talk?" Asked Fitz once he had approached Clare at her locker.

"Not now Fitz." Clare said before shutting her locker. Fitz stopped her from leaving by grabbing her wrist. "Yes now." Fitz said. Clare sighed.

"Fine, what Fitz?" Clare demanded putting her hand on her hip. Fitz took a deep breath.

"I now that telling Owen and the guy's about what we've done was wrong, but I'll never ever do that again if you just give me one more chance." Fitz said looking into Clare's crystal blue eyes. Clare sighed.

"I don't know, what if you tell them what we do if I give you another chance?" Asked Clare, Fitz moved his arms to her shoulders.

"I won't tell them anything." He said Clare looked up at him.

"I'll have to think about it." Clare said. Fitz nodded.

"Of course take all the time you need." Fitz said before gently kissing Clare on the cheek and walking off. Clare sighed, Damn that boy! She thought angrily. Fitz always made Clare turn to jelly when he touched her.

During English Ms. Dawes assigned them all a new assignment that the English partners were to do together. Clare was slightly happy at the prospect of working with Eli. Eli turned around and smirked at Clare. "Ok Ms. Edwards, what shall we write about?" He asked. Clare smiled at him. God he had a beautiful smirk. Clare thought. Wait, did she have a crush on Eli? "Earth to Edwards." Eli said waving his hand in front of her face.

"What?" Clare asked. Eli's smirk expanded.

"Still consuming all your thoughts?" he asked mischievously. Clare blushed.

"Yes because I can't live without thinking about you constantly." Clare said sarcastically. Eli smiled. "Knew it." He said. The bell rang signally the end of class.

"Work after school?" Clare asked swinging her bag over her shoulder. Eli nodded.

"Meet you at Morty?" he asked. Clare nodded before walking out f the classroom.

**Ok, I know this was kind of short but I'm tired and have exams at school. Next few chapters will be longer and have more Clare Eli interactions, but mainly it will be Fitz and Clare interactions. Please review. **


	8. Chapter 8 Unexpected

**Ashamed**

**Summary: Clare and Eli work on their English assignment when something surprising happens.**

After school Clare made her way to Morty. On the way she bumped into Fitz.

"Hey Mark." Clare said. Fitz smiled.

"Hey Clare, Ummm how was your day?" Fitz asked. Clare giggled at how nervous Fitz had become.

"It was good, what about yours?" Clare asked not taking her eyes off of Fitz's.

"Mine was good, but its way better now." Fitz said regaining his confidence, Fitz didn't know why but when he was around Clare he always got extremely nervous, he always kicked himself for it, and he didn't like showing his weaknesses. Clare blushed, "Mine's better now too." She said smiling widely at him. Fitz smiled back. "But I still need time to think." Clare said hoping Fitz wasn't mad. Fitz nodded sadly. "Yeah, ok see you around." Fitz said before walking past Clare. Clare sighed, the reason she hadn't taken Fitz back right now and she really wanted to, but she had begun to get feelings for Eli. It was wrong and he probably didn't feel the same but maybe it was time to move on.

Eli was leaning up against Morty waiting for Clare. He watched Fitz come out of the front doors and walk over to his idiotic friends; the idiot jock Owen and the massive slut Bianca. He couldn't believe Clare had gone out with someone so beneath her. He shook his head. "Dude, you need to tell her how you feel." Adam said suddenly popping up in front of Eli, Eli shook his head, "She doesn't feel the same way." Eli said sadly. Adam rolled his eyes.

"Dude you'd don't know that, she probably does, just tell her this afternoon." Adam said before walking off before Eli could say anything. Eli sighed, Clare Edwards, the most beautiful girl he'd ever met was walking towards him, smiling as usual. "Hey hot stuff." She said lightly bumping against him.

"Hey sweetness." He said opening Morty's passenger door for Clare to get in. This was how they always greeted eachother; it was a showing of affection. Eli hated to admit it but whenever Clare greeted him with that his palms suddenly became sweaty with nerves. He went to the other side and hopped in and started the car. "Where to?" He asked looking over to Clare who was tuning the radio, she was the only person he let do that because they had a similar taste in music. "Wherever." She replied. Sitting back in the seat, Eli smirked.

"My place it is then." Eli said driving out of the carpark.

At Eli's place Clare and Eli were sitting on Eli's couch reading eachothers work. Eli kept sneaking glances at Clare who was totally oblivious and was completely absorbed in reading Eli's work, Eli smirked at how focused she could get. "Ok, I'm bored and tired and extremely hungry, let's have a snack." Eli announced. Clare laughed. She sighed, "Fine, but after that we get straight back to work." Clare said putting Eli's story on the coffee table in front of the couch. Eli smiled triumphantly. A few minutes later Clare and Eli were munching away on popcorn. "So you and Fitz are totally done now right?" Eli asked. Clare looked at Eli. "I don't know actually, I told him I'd think about giving him another chance." Clare said, popping another piece of popcorn in her mouth.

"But why, he's not the guy for you." Eli said looking at Clare waiting for a reaction. Clare was stunned. "Then who pray tell is right guy for me Elijah!" Clare exclaimed, she was getting annoyed now. How dare he tell her who she should be with. Eli placed the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. Eli turned and looked at Clare seriously. "I'm the right guy for you Clare, I really like you and I think you really like me too." Eli stated boldly. Clare was shocked.

"Eli..." Clare began but was cut off when Eli kissed her. Clare was at first shocked but then kissed him back; Eli wrapped his arms around Clare's waist and pulled her closer to him, and Clare wrapped her arms around Eli's neck. Eli and Clare kissed passionately; Eli pushed Clare down the couch so that he was on top of her. After a few minutes they had to part to take a breath, they were both breathing heavily. Eli sat up and got off of Clare, Clare sat up. She couldn't believe that she and Eli had kissed. Especially since she was pretty sure she still loved Fitz. "I've got to go." Clare said awkwardly, she stood up and picked up her bag and notes. "No, Clare stay, please." Eli begged. Clare shook her head.

"No, I've got to go; I need to figure some things out." Clare insisted, before getting up. Eli just sat there, stunned that he and Clare had kissed, that was by far the most passionate kiss he'd ever had. Clare left Eli's house, as she walked home she kept going through what happened in her head. She had kissed Eli. She couldn't help but admit that she actually quite enjoyed it. Actually she enjoyed it so much she wouldn't mind doing that again.

**Reviews Good or bad** **I'll accept them I made this chapter really long because of the last few chapters being short.**


	9. Chapter 9 Not supposed to hear this

**Ashamed**

Summary: Clare tells Alli about her kissing Eli and someone overhears their conversation.

Clare entered the Dot and sat down at a table. On the way there she had texted Alli asking her to meet her there. A few minutes later Alli sat across from Clare at the table.

"What's up?" she asked picking up a menu. Clare took a deep breath.

"Eli and I were working on our English assignments, we were talking about my relationship with Fitz, and then we...kissed." Clare explained pausing at the end. Alli smiled.

"You and Eli!" she squealed excitedly. Clare shushed her.

Bianca had just sat down at a table, walking into the Dot she had seen Clare and Alli talking; she sat at a table near them. She was sitting there reading the menu when she heard something that shocked her.

"...and then we...kissed." she heard Clare say. Alli squealed happily while Bianca couldn't believe what she was hearing, she decided to listen in to the rest of their conversation.

"So does this mean you and Fitz are no more?" Alli asked, Bianca sat up straighter.

"I don't know." Clare said honestly. Bianca listened intently. Alli gaped at Clare.

"But Fitz is a jerk and was using you for sex; Eli loves you for god's sake!" Alli exclaimed. Clare hit her arm; she knew she should have picked a more private place for this conversation. Bianca scowled, Clare better not listen to Alli's advice. Clare shook her head.

"Fitz told me he loves me." Clare said realising she sounded like a lovesick teenager and very naive. Alli shook her head. "That's what he told you, he's probably now sleeping with someone else." Alli said frowning at her friend's denial. Bianca instinctively stood up ready to attack Alli, but calmed herself down. She sat down again, an old lady gave Bianca a weird look, and Bianca glared at the old woman. The woman quickly left the Dot.

"Alli, Fitz isn't like that." Clare said not really believing her words. She knew Alli could hear the doubt in her friend's voice. Bianca took a deep breath; she could also hear Clare's doubt about Fitz.

"Do you really believe that you're the only girl he's been with since you guys got together?" Alli asked. Clare hesitated before answering.

"I mean Fitz does look like the type to do that but, I don't think he'd do that." Clare said. She realised that she wasn't sure he was faithful through their entire relationship. What if he wasn't? That would make their entire relationship fake. Bianca frowned, Clare please trust Fitz, she thought. Alli looked at Clare knowingly.

"See, you don't think he was faithful, Eli would be faithful in a relationship." Alli said.

"You don't know that he would be the perfect boyfriend." Clare said. Alli shrugged.

"I see the way Eli looks at you; he wouldn't want to hurt you." Alli said. Clare nodded carefully. As Clare walked home, she thought about Eli and Fitz. Fitz is sweet, kind and loving. When he's around her not his friends, Eli on the other hand is sweet, nice and caring all the time. He respects Clare. But Fitz was Clare's first love, they guy she lost her virginity to. Clare couldn't decide whether to go for past or present.

**Please Review**


	10. Chapter 10 Dude, chill

**Ashamed**

Summary: Fitz's reaction to Bianca's news.

Clare and Alli had just left the Dot to go home. Bianca got out her mobile phone and texted Fitz to meet her at the ravine.

At the ravine Bianca was sitting down in a chair smoking on a cigarette. Fitz arrived a few minutes later. "What's up B?" he asked taking a seat on a chair next to Bianca. Bianca stubbed out her cigarette. She turned to him hoping he didn't freak out on her.

"Ok, I went to the Dot this afternoon and Clare and her bitch of a friend Alli were there, I heard Clare say that she and Eli...that she and Eli kissed." Bianca explained looking at Fitz nervously. He was shaking in rage.

"That Goth boy kissed my girl!" He yelled standing up and picking up his chair and throwing away from him in anger.

"Dude, chill." Bianca said. Fitz glared at her.

"What else did she say?" he asked. Bianca shifted in her seat.

"Alli said some things about you being unfaithful in the relationship and I think that made Clare begin to doubt you." Bianca said waiting for another outburst. Fitz turned bright red with fury. "She knows I would never cheat on her, ever." Fitz said surprisingly calmly, Bianca nodded.

"Then go and talk to her." Bianca advised. Fitz nodded.

"Yeah." Fitz said turning away.

"Wait, talk to her tomorrow at school." Bianca advised. Fitz turned to Bianca and nodded.

"You're a good friend B." He said before disappearing. Bianca sat back in her chair and opened a beer can and started sipping. He better not screw up she thought.

**Sorry this is so short but it's needed so the next chapter works.**

**Review please.**


	11. Chapter 11 Hallway Kisses

**Ashamed**

Summary: Fitz confronts Clare about what he heard.

The next day Fitz waited patiently by Clare's locker, waiting for her to arrive. At last he saw her walking towards her locker, when she saw him she immediately turned back and began walking in the other direction. Fitz quickly ran up to her and pulled by the wrist into a deserted classroom. "Fitz!" she exclaimed pulling her wrist back. Fitz went and shut the door and blocked her path to it. "No, not until you tell me why you kissed Goth boy." Fitz demanded. Clare looked shocked.

"How do you know about that?" Clare asked. Fitz glared at her.

"Bianca told me, now answer my question." Fitz answered, he was getting frustrated now.

"I don't know, we were talking about you and then he said he was the right guy for me then we kissed." Clare explained. After all honesty was the best policy. Fitz's features softened slightly. "Did you kiss him back?" He asked. Clare looked down.

"A little I guess." Clare answered. Fitz shook his head.

"So does this mean you aren't going to even consider giving me a second chance?" Fitz demanded crossing his arms over his chest. Clare shrugged.

"I'm not sure." Clare replied finally looking up at Fitz who was staring her down.

"I love you Clare Edwards." Fitz finally said. Clare smiled.

"I love you too Mark." She said blushing. Fitz smiled widely and pushed Clare against the wall and kissed her passionately. Clare pulled back though.

"What?" Fitz asked confused. Clare looked at Fitz.

"I think I might possibly like Eli as well." Clare said. Fitz took a deep breath and rested his head against Clare's shoulder. Clare rubbed his back gently.

"Why?" Fitz mumbled. He turned his head to the side so Clare could hear him. Clare lifted her hand and gently stroked Fitz's cheek.

"He's nice to me all the time, not like you who's nice to me away from your friends." Clare said cautiously. Fitz liked having Clare stroke his cheek gently. At that moment the bell rang signalling that class was beginning.

"We have to go Mark." Clare said gently pushing Fitz away from her. Clare kissed him on the cheek letting her lips linger there for a second before pulling away and leaving the classroom. Fitz followed frowning.

Clare had managed to successfully avoid Eli for the entire day, until English. Clare sat in her usual spot behind Eli. Eli turned in his seat and smiled at Clare. "Hey Clare did you get the assignment done on time?" He asked. Clare nodded sheepishly. Adam came and sat down at the desk across from Clare just as Ms. Dawes began class.

After class, Clare quickly exited the classroom, but Eli caught up with her though.

"Edwards, what's up with you, we kiss yesterday and now your acting weird." Eli said placing his hands on Clare's shoulders. Clare blushed slightly at the contact that made Eli smirk.

"Eli, I need some time to think things over." Clare said looking down. Eli's hands dropped from Clare's shoulders. "Ok, I'll give you some time." Eli said sadly before walking away. Clare sighed and walked towards her locker where Fitz was waiting. Clare slightly blushed at seeing him. "Hey Mark." She said smiling slightly. Fitz nodded.

"Hey Clare, how was your day?" Fitz asked awkwardly. Clare unlocked her locker.

"It was alright, yours?" Clare answered putting her books away and shutting her locker.

"It was ok." Fitz said leaning against the locker next to Clare's. Clare turned to Fitz.

"Mark, before when we were you know, did you sleep with any other girl?" She asked nervously.

"You think I cheated on you?" Fitz asked incredulously.

"Well." Clare said, dragging the L along a little. Fitz scratched his head.

"Clare listen babe I'm not the guy who cheats on his girlfriend. I love you so much its killing me knowing that you aren't mine anymore." Fitz said looking into Clare's eyes. Clare smiled widely and kissed Fitz on the lips. Fitz moved so that Clare was pressed up against the lockers and had his arms around her waist. He leaned against Clare making that there was no space left between them. They pulled back for a breath.

"I love you Mark." Clare said smiling. Fitz pressed his forehead against hers and kissed her on the lips gently. "I love you to Clare." He said.

**There you have it, more chapters to come.**

**Review please.**


	12. Chapter 12 I would die happy

**Ashamed**

Summary: Fitz and Clare are back together, for now.

Clare and Fitz were lying in Clare's bed, it was Saturday night and Clare's parents were not home, they were at a church fundraiser so Fitz had come over. Clare snuggled up to Fitz and Fitz held onto her. He brushed his hand up and down Clare's side.

"I'm think if I died now, I would die the happiest man in the world." Fitz said smiling into the darkness. Clare suddenly shifted so she was sitting up. She pulled the blankets up to cover her bare chest. "Mark, I want you to know that I'll probably never stop loving you." Clare said looking at him. Fitz looked to her and smiled; he sat up and faced her. He placed one of his arms around Clare's waist. Clare blushed. "I'll probably always love you too." Fitz said. Clare leaned in and kissed Fitz, Fitz deepened the kiss by pulling her towards him making that there was no space between them. Clare placed her hands on Fitz's neck. They fell back against the bed.

Clare and Alli arrived at the Dot after school on Monday.

"Does Eli know that you and Fitz are back together?" Alli asked after they had sat down and ordered their drinks.

"He doesn't." Clare answered feeling guilty. Especially after he confessed that he really likes her.

"You have to tell him soon." Alli said, Clare knew that she hates that Fitz and Clare are back together again.

"I know." Clare said. Alli raised her eyebrow and looked behind her.

"Here's your chance." She said. Clare turned around and saw Eli crossing the road to the Dot. Clare immediately got nervous when I saw him see me. Once Eli entered the Dot he walked over to us. "I'm going to go to the bathroom." Alli said before standing up and heading towards there. Eli sat down where Alli had been sitting.

"Eli, please don't be upset but Fitz and I are back together." Clare explained. Eli took a deep breath. "Ok, see you at school." Eli said standing up. Clare watched him walk towards the exit before standing up and following him.

"Eli, wait!" She called grabbing his hand and turning him towards her. He groaned.

"What?" He asked sounding quite annoyed. Clare let go of his arm and he went outside. Clare followed him though.

"I want to know if we can still be friends." Clare said. Eli stopped walking and turned to her.

"I don't know, I'll have to think about it." He said before walking away from Clare.

**REVIEW! I know it's not very long but it's late and I'm tired, I'll add another chapter possibly tomorrow.**


	13. Chapter 13 A break

**Ashamed**

Summary: Clare wants to be friends with Eli again.

The next day at school Clare and Alli were walking onto the school grounds. Clare saw Eli and Adam talking by the front steps. "Alli I'll catch you later." Clare said, Alli nodded and walked off to find Drew; Clare made her way to Eli and Adam.

"Hey guys." She said brightly. Adam smiled while Eli just stood there emotionless.

"Hey Clare." Adam said equally brightly. Eli just grunted a hello.

"I'll leave you two to talk." Adam said before taking off. Eli didn't move so Clare took this as her opportunity to apologize. "Eli." Clare said feeling a bit awkward. Eli looked away for a second then to her; she could see that he didn't want to be there.

"Eli, before all this Fitz mess stuff you me and Adam have been really good friends. I don't want that to change." Clare said deciding to get straight to the point.

"It's not that simple Clare, when we kissed I felt something powerful and I'm pretty sure you felt it too." Eli said. Clare was taken aback by that response.

"I did feel something with the kiss, but I love Fitz and we have so much history."Clare said truthfully. Eli shook his head.

"Screw history, sure you may love Fitz and you might have a lot of history, but that's not a real reason to be with him, he's going to keep hurting you. Since we've met you and Fitz keep going back in forth between broken up and together, maybe it's time to move on." Eli said, Clare could tell that he meant every word. Clare stood there in awe of his speech.

"But..." Clare began but she couldn't finish it. She realised that what Eli had said was true, she and Fitz didn't have the most stable relationship; they both were always doing something that pisses the other off. But they both always loved the other with their whole heart. Well, Clare knew she always loved Fitz whenever they had a fight, whenever they got back together. But maybe it was time to let go. Take a break for a bit and see other people. Clare looked at Eli and smiled.

"If you're still interested meet me at my house at 4 o'clock this afternoon." She said. Eli looked slightly confused but happy.

"Yeah sure." He said before walking off.

Clare found Fitz at his locker talking to Bianca and Owen. She took a deep breath. Bianca tapped Fitz's shoulder once she saw her. Fitz turned around and smiled. Bianca and Owen walked off and Bianca smiled to herself. After all Fitz was finally happy with Clare and they were back together. Clare walked up to him. Fitz leaned in to kiss her but Clare pulled back.

"Mark please don't be mad, but I think...I think we should take a break, see other people for a bit." Clare said waiting for a bit. Fitz glared at her.

"What happened to you loving me?" Fitz asked.

"I do love you; I just think that maybe we need to see other people." Clare explained.

"So you want to throw away 2 years of us?" He demanded (1). Clare shook her head.

"Mark, we need this, every other week we're doing something wrong and hurting eachother. I don't want to hurt you anymore." Clare said, she blinked away tears, god this was painful she thought. Fitz looked like he was on the verge of crying.

"You've never hurt me." He said. Clare shook her head.

"Please Mark, this is for the best." She said before walking off. Fitz leaned against his locker and ran his hands through his hair. He turned around and smashed his fist into the locker next to his.

That afternoon, Eli knocked on the door to Clare's house. She came and opened it and smiled.

"Hey Clare." He said. Clare leaned up and kissed him on the lips. Eli pulled back,

"Aren't you still with Fitz?" He asked. Clare shook her head.

"No, we're on a break for now; we're going to see other people to see what it's like." Clare explained. Eli smiled and leaned forward and kissed Clare passionately.

**Review please**

**Clare and Fitz have been dating for 2 years, since the start of Clare's freshman year.**

**Don't worry Clare and Fitz aren't broken up for good. **


	14. Chapter 14 Moving on

** Ashamed**

Summary: Its Three months later and Fitz has been spending all his time lounging around his apartment. Clare and Eli are happy.

"You are so pathetic." Bianca said standing in front of Fitz who was slumped on the couch holding a beer. He groaned.

"It's been three months." Bianca said walking over to the window and pulling the curtains aside making light fill Fitz's dark and dirty apartment. The sudden light made Fitz groan again and cover his face. Bianca walked towards Fitz again and sat next to him on the couch.

"I know you're depressed about Clare leaving you for Emo boy. But you need to get on with your life." Bianca said looking at him sadly. She hated seeing him like this. Fitz looked absolutely lost. He looked over at Bianca. He shook his head,

"I can't move on, I love her B." Fitz said sadly. Bianca sighed.

"But she's happy with Eli; maybe you should just be happy for her." Bianca said.

"I don't know." Fitz said honestly. He loved Clare with his whole heart. But she had dumped him for Goth boy.

"Come on, get up, shower and get dressed, you have to go to school before they kick your sorry ass out." Bianca said standing. Fitz nodded and sluggishly got up and headed to his bedroom.

At school Fitz and Bianca arrived at the school gates, Bianca turned to him.

"Are you ready?" She asked Fitz slowly nodded. He took a deep breath and walked towards the front door. But on his way he saw Clare laughing with Alli at a picnic table. He stopped walking and watched her smile and laugh with her friends. Bianca tapped his shoulder which startled him.

"Dude, you're staring." She said. Fitz sighed and started walking again.

"Nice to see you back man." Owen said once he saw Fitz and Bianca walking towards him. Fitz nodded and they did their greeting thing. (The thing boys do, like side hug or something.) Fitz smiled and nodded.

"Now you and me can go get us some hot girls." Owen said happily. Fitz nodded Clare's disapproving look. He shook it out of his head. "Sure thing man." Fitz said.

After school at the ravine Fitz lead a blonde girl drunken girl he didn't know the name of into a van. She giggled and tipped over slightly. He caught her in time. He rolled his eyes; he hated girls like this, girls who had no pride that threw themselves at guys. But he didn't care. Clare didn't want him, this girl did. So what if he was taking advantage of this girl's stupidity. She could have stopped him right then but she didn't.

In the van he picked up a condom from the bag that they have in every van. He put it on and turned to the girl who was smiling and giggling. He leaned over and started kissing her collarbone. She giggled more.

A few hours later Fitz got out of the van and sighed meaningless sex with some bimbo. He made his way to where Bianca was sitting drinking a beer. She shook her head.

"When I said move on, I didn't mean go back to sleeping with drunken bimbos." Bianca said taking another sip. Fitz shrugged and grabbed a fold out hair and sat down. He picked up a beer and took a big chug of it.

"Did you wear a condom at least?" Bianca asked looking at him seriously.

"Yes mum." Fitz said sarcastically. Bianca rolled her eyes. Owen came over to them smiling.

"Dude did you get lucky?" He asked, his eyes were slightly glazed over.

"Offcourse." Fitz said smugly. Bianca rolled her eyes again.

"Sweet!" Owen said happily.

Fitz was walking past the Dot on his way home when he bumped into Clare.

"Oh sorry." She said blushing. Fitz's heart started beating faster and his palms were getting sweaty. Clare is the only girl in the world that makes him like this.

"It's ok." He said coolly. He shoved his hands into his pockets. Clare looked into his eyes.

"How have you been Mark?" She asked sincerely.

"I've been better," He said shrugging. "What about you?" He asked

"I'm good." She answered. They stood there for a while; they were quite close to eachother, which only made Fitz more nervous.

"I should get going, see you tomorrow." Clare said finally. Fitz nodded.

"Yeah see you too." He said. Clare smiled slightly and kissed Fitz gently on the cheek. She then walked away. Fitz watched her walk away and touched his cheek where she had kissed him. Damn! He thought. She still made him crazy; he had to get her back.

**Reviews please, and I would like you all to post how you would like to see him try to win Clare back. **


	15. Chapter 15 Their Rock

**Ashamed**

Summary: Clare's reaction to seeing Fitz again.

Clare's heart fluttered as she walked home from the Dot, she had just bumped into Mark, the boy whose heart she broke. She smiled to herself, but then realisation hit her. She was still with Eli! Don't get her wrong she really likes Eli; he's nice, sweet and considerate. But then there's the part of her that still loves Mark. She loved the way he made her feel like the only girl in the world. But then again he's a bully, he's never the sweet Mark he is to her when he's with his friends, and he told his friends about their sex lives. She sighed heavily. When did life have to get so complicated? Before it was so simple her and Mark would spend hours hanging around in Clare's room, talking and having just simple fun. Oh well, Clare arrived home and went to her room. She found an email from Eli.

**Edwards,**

**Tomorrow, you and I are going to dinner, pick you up at 7.**

**Eli.**

Clare sighed; something she found annoying about Eli was that he never asked if she had previous plans, he just assumed she wasn't busy and made plans for them. Mark never did any of that, he always asked her if she wanted to do something. Wait, no! She can't be thinking about Mark. He's not her boyfriend anymore, he doesn't matter. She sighed and went to get changed into something more comfortable. A few minutes later she came back to her computer and saw Mark wanting to speak to her via messenger.

_Fitzyboy12: Hey Clare._

_ClareBear95: Hey Mark._

_Fitzyboy12: Busy?_

_Clarebear95: Only homework, why?_

_Fitzyboy12: Because I wanted to see you._

_Clarebear95: But Eli._

_Fitzyboy12: He doesn't need to know._

Clare thought for a minute then smiled.

_Clarebear95: What time can you pick me up?_

Fitz smiled as he typed back his reply.

_Fitzyboy12: Right now ok?_

_Clarebear95: Ok_

**Fitzyboy12 has signed off.**

Clare got up and changed into jeans and her favourite t-shirt. She heard a beep outside her window and saw Mark getting out. She smiled and went downstairs. Clare opened the door and saw Mark standing there smiling.

"So, where are we going?" Clare asked as she buckled her seatbelt. She turned to Mark who starting the ignition.

"Our place." Mark replied. Clare's smile widened. Their special place was this secluded rock near a hill; you could see the entire city from there. They'd found it last year when wondering around together. From then on it became their special place.

Around 20 minutes later Mark stopped the car and turned to Clare.

"We're here." He said. Clare nodded she unbuckled herself and got out.

"I haven't been here in ages." Clare said looking around. Mark came up next to her.

"Same here." He said. Clare took Marks hand and they went and sat down on their rock.

Mark's heartbeat sped up when she held his hand. After a bit of silence Clare sighed.

"What are you thinking?" He asked her. She smiled and turned to him.

"This was a good idea." She said. Mark smiled; he bravely took hold of her hand. She blushed. Mark smiled to himself when she didn't let go. They watched the sun go down. Clare rested her head on Mark's shoulder. Mark wrapped one of his arms around Clare's waist pulling her closer to him. They sat like that for a while. Clare turned her head and watched Mark as he looked at the sunset. She smiled, she then realised that her and Eli were never like this, she wasn't this comfortable around Eli as she was with Mark, she also didn't get butterflies in her stomach whenever she touched him. She only got that when she was with Mark.

"Mark, I love you." Clare said, hoping that he still felt the same way.

Fitz couldn't believe it when she said that to him. She loved him not Eli.

"I love you too Clare." Fitz said smiling. Clare smiled and leaned towards Mark. He closed the gap and soon they were kissing passionately. She placed her hands onto his neck. Mark placed his arms around Clare's waist and pulled her closer making that there be no space between them. After a while they pulled back to take a breath.

"That was incredible." Mark said scratching his head. Clare laughed at his statement.

"It was." She said.

**Are you all happy? Reviews please, not finished yet.**


	16. Chapter 16 One year later

**Ashamed**

Summary: The start of senior year: A year later, With some surprises. By the way the story started at the beginning of junior year.

"Come on Clare Tyler's going to be fine with nanna." Alli said sighing.

"No, what if he gets sick and cries." Clare said cuddling her 1 month old son.

"He's going to be fine; by the way today you're going to have to face Fitz." Alli said. Clare sighed.

"I can't tell Fitz." Clare said, she kissed Tyler's forehead.

"He deserves to know that he has a son." Alli said. Clare shook her head.

"Even if I was going to tell him about Ty, he'd be mad that I'd kept this secret from him." Clare said. Alli shook her head knowing that she wouldn't be able to convince her friend otherwise.

"Bye sweetie nanna's going to take care of you." Clare said kissing her son one last time before heading to school with Alli.

About a month after Clare and Fitz got back together, Clare found out she was pregnant so she left Fitz a letter and talked her parents into them all moving to Seattle. 8 ½ months later Clare had Tyler, now at the start of senior year Clare's family and she had moved back. Clare was now getting ready to go back to Degrassi. Alli's the only person besides her parents and Mr Simpson knew about Tyler.

Alli parked the car in the school car park she turned to Clare.

"Are you ready for our last year of highschool?" Alli asked excitedly, Clare nodded smiling.

"Totally." She said. As they were walking through the car park Clare saw Eli making out with some brunette who was giggling. She smiled, she was happy that Eli's happy. She then saw Adam sitting with Drew and KC talking about something. Adam and Eli mustn't be friends anymore she thought.

Clare was standing at her locker when she heard the familiar laugh of Bianca. She turned her head slightly and saw her walking beside Fitz and Owen. She quickly turned back to her locker hoping none of them saw her.

They didn't see her they saw Wesley, Fitz had become more violent and angry ever since Clare left him without an explanation. Fitz grabbed Wesley by the collar of his shirt and threw him against the locker beside him. Owen and Bianca laughed.

"Stop!" Wesley yelled. Fitz smirked. Fitz held him up.

"What are you going to do about it?" He asked. Wesley gulped.

"Dude teacher." Bianca said tapping his shoulder. Fitz quickly let go and Wesley ran off. He turned and started walking with his friends but suddenly stopped when he saw Clare shoving books into her locker. Bianca looked to where Fitz was looking and gasped. Fitz quickly turned around and walked off. Owen turned and followed Fitz; Bianca on the other hand walked straight over to Clare and tapped her shoulder.

"Clare." She said Clare turned and gasped.

"Bianca, what do you want?" She asked getting defensive. Bianca scowled.

"What the hell are you doing here? You left Fitz without an exclamation; do you know how heartbroken he was? No you don't you were gone." Bianca said angrily. Clare looked down guiltily.

"You wouldn't understand." Clare said closing her locker and walking off. Bianca watched her walk away.

Meanwhile Fitz smashed his hand into a random locker.

"How could she come back here and not tell me?" He asked. Owen shrugged.

"Dude, I thought you were over her." He said. Fitz glared at him.

"I thought I was, but then I see her now and she looks even more beautiful than before." He said. Owen instinctively rolled his eyes at what he said. Bianca walked up to them.

"Fitz, just forget about her." Owen said. Bianca cleared her throat.

"Boys I just spoke to Clare and I think she may be hiding something." Bianca said bluntly. Fitz looked at her.

"Why did you talk to her?" He asked walking towards Bianca glaring. Bianca took a few steps back from him.

"Yeah, so what?" She asked crossing her hands over her chest. Fitz shook his head.

"She broke my heart, I still love her." He said. Owen groaned.

"I'll let you two discuss this." He said before walking off. Fitz nodded.

"Ok, maybe you should just talk to her." Bianca suggested.

"Why should I?" Fitz asked looking at her.

"Because you still love her, and maybe she still loves you." Bianca said. Fitz sighed, and leant against a locker.

"Ok." He said

**I bet you guys didn't see that coming? Reviews please, I'll try to update tomorrow.**


	17. Chapter 17 Why?

**Ashamed**

Summary: Fitz confronts Clare.

After school Fitz waited until Clare was at her locker and there was no one else around. He walked up to her silently. Once he reached her he tapped her shoulder lightly. She quickly turned to him and gasped.

"Fitz, what do you want?" She demanded shutting her locker. Fitz leant against the locker next to hers.

"I want to know why you left me." He said staring her down. She gulped.

"I just had to go to Seattle for a while." She said. Fitz groaned.

"I know where you fucking went! I want to know why!" He yelled angrily. Clare flinched and took a step back.

"You don't need to know why." She said. She went to leave but Fitz quickly moved in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders to keep her still.

"Yes I do." He said looking into her eyes. Clare sighed, looking down.

"We weren't going to last Fitz, we're too different." She said sadly. Fitz shook his head.

"You look at me Clare," he said, she reluctantly looked up. "It doesn't matter that we're two different people, what matters is that we love eachother no matter what." He said, Clare bit her bottom like she always did when she was nervous.

"I'm sorry Mark." She whispered before taking Fitz's hands off of her shoulders, he let her walk away from him. He wiped the tears from his eyes angrily. Dan it! He thought, he promised himself he wouldn't cry because of her again, but he felt his heart shattering yet again because of Clare.

Clare arrived home she immediately went into Tyler's nursery and picked him up and held him close. He giggled happily. She kissed the top of his head. Her mother came into the room to see her.

"How was school honey?" She asked. Clare turned to her mother and sighed.

"It was alright, people made up stories about my returning back to Degrassi, none were actually right." Clare said. Her mother sighed.

"Did you see Mark?" She asked looking at her youngest daughter. Clare nodded,

"He wanted to know why I left, but I couldn't tell him." Clare answered sadly. Helen sighed.

"He deserves to know that he has a son." She said.

"I know that but I just don't know how to tell him." Clare said rocking Tyler up and down.

"Ok, tell him when you're ready." She said before leaving. Clare sighed and looked at her son who was smiling as usual.

"Do you want to know your daddy?" She asked him.

**This is just kind of a filler, please review.**


	18. Chapter 18 Hey Adam!

**Ashamed**

Summary: Clare speaks to Adam for the first time in a while.

It was the next day at school and Clare decided that she would talk to Adam. She saw Adam sitting reading a comic book by himself. She took a deep breath and walked over to him.

"Hey Adam!" she said brightly, Adam looked up and smiled.

"Hey Clare, been a while." He said, Clare sat next to him and Adam turned to face her.

"Yeah, it has, so how have you been?" She asked. Adam shrugged,

"I've been better." He replied.

"Why aren't you hanging out with Eli?" Clare asked.

"Ever since he started going out with Sadie Rowland he's ditched me to make out with her." Adam explained. Clare was angry at Eli how could he ditch Adam for another girl, when she went out with him she always made sure he spent an equal amount of time with Adam.

"Who's Sadie?" she asked,

"About two months after you dumped him Sadie came to Degrassi and Eli quickly started going out with her." Adam replied.

"I still can't believe Eli would ditch you for a girl." Clare said shaking her head. Adam shrugged.

"Drew's been really good with letting me hang out with him and KC and Jenna." Adam said. But Clare could tell Adam was still a bit upset about Eli ditching him. Adam shook his head.

"Enough about me, why did you leave?" Adam asked, Clare sighed, she knew that Adam would ask this question.

"Ok, don't tell anyone, especially Fitz ok." Clare said, she trusted Adam enough to tell him her secret.

"Yeah sure." He said placing his comic book in his bag.

"The reason I left so suddenly is because I found out I was pregnant." Clare explained, she looked at Adam who was sitting there with his mouth hanging open.

"You have a kid, with Fitz!" He exclaimed. I covered his mouth with my hand.

"Don't say that too loud." Clare said urgently.

"Sorry, I'm just shocked, anyway did you keep it?" He asked. Clare nodded.

"I have a little boy, his name is Tyler." She said smiling. Adam smiled too.

"Cool." Adam said.

"But you can't tell anyone." Clare said, and Adam nodded.

"Who else knows?" he asked her,

"My parents, Alli, Mr. Simpson and all the teachers that I have this year know." Clare said. Adam nodded.

"I'd love to meet him some time." Adam said. Clare smiled and nodded.

"Sure, you can if you're free after school." Clare suggested.

"Sounds like a plan." Adam said.

"I have a little boy, his name is Tyler." He heard Clare say.

"Cool." He heard Adam said.

"But you can't tell anyone." Clare said,

"Who else knows?" he asked her,

"My parents, Alli, Mr. Simpson and all the teachers that I have this year know." Clare said.

"I'd love to meet him some time." Adam said.

"Sure, you can if you're free after school." Clare suggested.

"Sounds like a plan." Adam said.

He couldn't believe it, she has a kid!

**Who overheard their conversation? I'll leave that till the next chapter or the one after that.**

**Reviews please.**


	19. Chapter 19 I won't tell if

**Ashamed**

Summary: We find out who overheard Adam and Clare talking.

"Hey Clare." Eli said once he had walked up to Clare who was sitting at one of the picnic tables looking at photos of her and Tyler on her phone. She looked up and put her phone away.

"Hey Eli, how have you been?" She asked gesturing that it was ok for him to sit down.

"I've been good, what about you?" He answered. Clare shrugged,

"I've been better." She answered. Eli nodded.

"So, I heard you and Adam talking this morning, you have a kid." Eli said, that made Clare begin to panic.

"Have you told anyone?" She asked her voice rising.

"No not yet." Eli said nonchalantly. Clare's heartbeat started getting faster.

"What do you want?" She asked that made Eli smirk.

"Just a simple kiss and I won't tell anyone about your kid." Eli said.

"You can't be serious." Clare said shocked.

"I'm dead serious, when you broke up with me for him, I was heartbroken. So now you're going to give me something I want, a kiss." Eli explained all the while looking Clare in the eyes. Clare looked down at her hands.

"If I kiss you, you won't tell anyone about Tyler?" She asked. Eli nodded.

"Ok, just a quick kiss." She said Eli shook his head.

"No a real kiss." He said. Clare thought for a minute all she had to do was give him a kiss and her secret will be safe.

"Fine no tongues." Clare gave in Eli smirked happily. He caressed Clare's cheek and leaned forward, Clare shut her eyes and leant forward, their lips collided. He moved his lips against hers Clare decided to give it her all. After a few seconds Clare and Eli pulled back Eli smirked and stood up and left. Clare sighed she couldn't believe she had just done that.

Fitz watched from a picnic table not too far away from Clare and Eli sucking face. He growled viscously. He watched Eli smirk and Clare look, Fitz couldn't believe it he had just watched Clare kiss Eli and she looked uncomfortable. He decided to go over and talk to her. As he got closer to her he noticed that she looked upset.

"So, are you and emo boy back together?" He asked not even bothering to announce his arrival. Clare looked up then looked away guiltily.

"No we're not." She answered. Fitz rolled his eyes,

"Don't lie to me Clare; I just saw you and him kissing." Fitz snarled. Clare flinched.

"I'm not back with him, he told me to kiss him, otherwise he'll tell everyone something they don't need to know." Clare explained. Fitz sat down next to her.

"I'm supposed to just believe that?" Fitz demanded angrily, Clare nodded.

"Yes you are, please Mark." She said, he looked into her eyes.

"What was he going to tell everyone?" He asked her, she froze.

"Nothing important." She said standing up quickly she picked up her bag and swung it over her shoulder. Before she could get away Fitz grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down.

"Clare I'm not letting you leave without telling me what was Eli going to tell everyone." Fitz demanded angrily. Clare took a deep breath.

"Ok, but you have to promise you won't get mad at me, I'm really sorry for keeping this from you." Clare rambled Fitz used his free hand to turn her face to being directly in front of him.

"Clare, just tell me." He said. Clare took a deep breath.

"The reason I left you and moved to Seattle, was because I found out I was...I was pregnant." Clare said. Fitz froze and stared at her.

"A baby." Was all he could say. The bell rang meaning lunch was over. Fitz's hold on Clare weakened so Clare took that as her opportunity to leave.

"I'm sorry." Clare said before kissing Fitz on the cheek and walking away.

Fitz was just sitting there; completely shocked that Clare has a baby, his baby. But what if she gave the kid away or gave it up for adoption? He needed all of the details. He shook his head. He stood up eventually and headed to the ravine to meet Bianca and Owen.

**How was that? Reviews please.**


	20. Chapter 20 So cute

**Ashamed**

Summary: Adam meets Tyler.

Clare had told Adam to come to her house at 5pm so she was getting Tyler and herself ready. Clare had just finished feeding Tyler when Adam rang the doorbell. Clare put Tyler back into his crib and went downstairs to answer the door. Once she opened the door she saw Adam standing there smiling.

"Hey." Clare said waving him in, Adam stepped inside and smiled.

"Hey, so where's the little one?" He asked her,

"Upstairs follow me." She answered before heading upstairs. Adam followed, his palms were sweating, he was nervous about meeting Tyler because he didn't want to hurt the baby; Clare opened the door that was next to her room and went inside. Adam followed and walked towards the crib he saw. Clare stood beside him. Adam looked into the crib and saw a tiny little baby who was dressed into a blue onesie. He had blue eyes like Clare's and had just a little bit of brown hair on his head, Adam's smile widened.

"He's cute, looks just like you." Adam said after a few minutes of looking at the small infant. Clare smiled and nodded her head.

"Thank you, do you wanna hold him?" She asked,

"I don't know what if I drop him?" Adam asked urgently. Clare shook her head.

"You won't drop him, here sit in the rocking chair over there and I'll put him in your arms." Clare answered motioning her hand over to the rocking chair. Adam nodded nervously and went and sat down in the chair. Clare leant down and picked up Tyler and cradled him in her arms, Tyler's face instantly brightened up when she held him. That made Adam smile because he found it really nice and he always knew that Clare would be a great mother. Clare walked over to Adam with Tyler in her arms.

"Ok, hold out your hands like you would a football," Clare began and Adam followed her instructions. Clare moved Tyler so he was in Adam's arms,

"Now support the head with your arm." Clare said Adam did that. Clare stood back a bit and watched as Adam held Tyler,

"Wow, he's not very heavy." Adam said Clare nodded.

"I was around 81/2 months when I had him." Clare explained. Adam nodded.

"This is kind of a weird question, but what was it like going into labour?" Adam asked awkwardly, he had so many questions to ask her. Clare laughed at how nervous he was.

"Giving birth is like doing the splits on a crate of dynamite." Clare said, Adam calmed down and they laughed.

"What made you decide to keep him?" He asked looking down at Tyler's smiling face.

"I couldn't even think about abortion and I knew that if I'd gone for adoption I wouldn't have been able to give him up." Clare answered. Adam nodded.

"I'm proud of you." Adam said looking up at her. Clare blushed.

"Thanks." Clare answered. Through the past year and a bit Clare and Adam had bonded in a brother sister way. Adam was like a brother to Clare and Clare was like a sister to Adam. After a few hours of talking and hanging out with Tyler Adam had to go home Clare walked Adam to the door and said goodbye. After he left Clare went back upstairs and picked up Tyler and fed him, she went over to the rocking chair and sat there gently rocking Tyler in her arms, and she kissed his forehead. A few minutes later Clare put Tyler to bed and went downstairs for dinner, she was sitting at the dinner table eating her dinner when the phone began ringing.

"Hello Clare speaking." She said into the phone.

"Hey Clare it's me Fitz." She heard Fitz say hearing his voice caused butterflies to form in her stomach.

"Hey Fitz what do you want?" She asked him.

"I was wondering if you could come to the Dot now and meet me." He said. Clare thought about it for a minute.

"I'd have to ask my mum to watch Tyler for me but yeah I could be there." Clare said.

"Can you come now?" Fitz asked her.

"Yeah ok." Clare told him.

"Great see you then bye." He said before hanging up. Clare put her dinner in the bin and went to her mum.

"Hey mum, I'm going to go meet someone at the Dot can you make sure if Tyler wakes up that he's put back to sleep?" Clare asked her mother. Helen nodded so Clare went and grabbed her jacket, put it on and took her car keys and drove to the Dot.

**Reviews please hopefully you enjoyed this chapter.**


	21. Chapter 21 Chat

**Ashamed**

Summary: Clare and Fitz talk about the situation.

Clare arrived at the Dot and saw Fitz sitting at a table by himself; he saw her enter the Dot and smiled. _She's so beautiful._ Fitz thought as he watched her walk over to him and sit down at the free seat.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" She asked him. Fitz took a deep breath and looked directly at her.

"I want to know why you didn't tell me you were pregnant." He said he watched Clare look down at her lap. She looked up at him and sighed.

"I didn't tell you because I thought you would leave me." She answered truthfully. Fitz swallowed hard he tried to hold down his anger.

"You think I'm that kind of person that would just abandon the person he cares about and his child?" He asked, balled his fists trying to stay calm. Clare looked down again and bit her bottom lip.

"I was scared." Was all she said before getting up and leaving the Dot. Fitz got up and followed her out. Clare knew that he was getting angry and she didn't want him to explode. Fitz grabbed her arm and made her face him. They were standing next to Clare's car.

"Why did you just get up and leave like that?" He demanded not letting go of her arm. Clare looked to the right so she wouldn't have to look into Fitz's eyes. Fitz used his other arm and turned her head to face him. His hand caressed her cheek. Clare took a deep breath. Fitz moved his hand away.

"You were getting angry." She said looking down. Fitz looked at her.

"I know, but I can't believe you of all people think that I'd do something like that." He explained. Clare shook her head.

"You don't get it, I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant, you don't know what it's like." Clare said shaking her head.

"I know I don't but you don't know what it's like to have to deal with the fact that the person you love left you." He said glaring at her.

"And I'm sorry I put you through that." Clare said. Fitz shook his head.

"What you did was selfish and I can never forgive for that." Fitz said, each word cutting Clare like a piece of glass. She tried to hold back tears but they started flowing. Fitz let go of her arm and walked away from her. Clare watched him walk towards his car and drive off, she wiped the tears away from her face and got in her car and drove home.

Fitz arrived at the ravine feeling pissed off at himself for doing that to Clare, leaving her crying on the sidewalk like that. He sat down at one of the fold out chairs

and grabbed a beer and took a big swig. Bianca saw him sitting there glumly. She sighed and walked over to him and sat down at a fold out chair next to him.

"Did you talk to Clare?" She asked him. Fitz nodded.

"Yeah, except I got really mad at her and told her I'd never forgive her and left her." Fitz explained sadly. Bianca sighed angrily.

"Jesus Christ Fitz! Why do you keep screwing up?" She asked him. Fitz shrugged.

"I don't know it's just that when she left me without telling me why I felt like she just got sick of me." Fitz said looking at his beer Bianca rolled her eyes.

"Do you still love her?" She asked him seriously.

"I love Clare with all my heart; she's the only girl that makes me go all stupid." Fitz said. He groaned and ran his hands through his hair.

"God I'm such a pussy." He said. Bianca smirked.

"No, you're a human being with feelings, you need to talk to her again, and also talk to her about your kid." Bianca instructed. Fitz nodded.

"Yeah, but I'll do that tomorrow." He said Bianca nodded in agreement.

Clare arrived home and went straight to her room and sat on her bed and started crying. She had screwed up. She wiped her tears away, a sudden realisation hit her. Maybe she didn't need Fitz, or any other guy. She just needed Adam, her family and Tyler. She needed to focus on being a good mum to Tyler, she decided that tomorrow she would civilly talk to Fitz about Tyler and she decided that she would try not to get into a romantic relationship with anyone this year.

**Reviews please, I was actually thinking about getting Clare and Fitz back together in this one but I've decided to take this story in a different direction. Might be a while till the next chapter.**


	22. Chapter 22 Father Son

**Ashamed**

Summary: The next day at school.

**I love everyone's reviews you guys have been great. Today I've been in a very writing kind of mood. So enjoy this chapter.**

Clare arrived at school not sure if she was ready for the day ahead. She spotted Adam getting out of Drew's car. Clare got out and made her way over to him.

"Hey Adam." She said cheerfully. Adam turned around and saw her and smiled.

"Morning Clare, how's Tyler?" He asked he

"He's good; he slept through the entire night for the first time." She said smiling.

"Nice." Adam said, they then started walking towards the school.

**2****nd**** Part**

Fitz arrived at school and saw Clare talking with Adam, he sighed. He wanted so badly to just run up and kiss her, but he couldn't do that after what he'd said to her last night.

"Dude wake up." Owen said shoving Fitz. Fitz groaned,

"Sorry, I'm just hungover." Fitz said shaking his head in a bid to wake himself up.

"Tell me about it dude I drank way more than you." Owen said. Meanwhile Bianca was striding up to them; she looked at Owen and scrunched up her nose.

"You couldn't have showered first?" She asked him clear disgust in her voice. Owen grinned

"I could of but I chose not to." He said Bianca shook her head.

"Whatever, Fitz are you going to talk to Clare today?" She asked Fitz nodded.

"Yes mum." He said sarcastically. Owen laughed while Bianca just rolled her eyes.

**3****rd**** Part**

At lunch Fitz waited around the corner from Clare's locker waiting for her to arrive there. A few minutes later she sure enough walked up to her locker. Fitz walked over to her quickly and leant against the locker next to hers.

"Hey Clare." He said hoping she didn't ignore him. Clare turned to him.

"Hey Fitz, what's up?" She asked him looking at him. Fitz smiled he was so happy that she didn't hate him.

"I wanted you to know that I'm really sorry for what I said last night." He said sincerely.

"Don't worry about it." She said smiling.

"I was wondering if we could talk about Tyler." He said putting his hands in his jean pockets.

"Sure." She said cheerfully.

"Can I meet him?" He asked her, Clare turned back to her locker to put some books away.

"Sure, are you busy this afternoon?" She asked him. She shut her locker and turned to face him again.

"Yeah ok." He said.

"Good meet me at my house at 4 o'clock, by the way we still live where we used to live before we moved, see you later." She said before walking off down the hallway. Fitz smiled to himself. But then he started thinking about Clare's attitude, usually when he did or said something to her that was mean she would forgive him after a few weeks or days, he called her selfish last night and today she's acting as if that didn't happen. He shrugged, as long as she isn't mad at him anymore.

**4****th**** Part**

Clare walked down the hallway away from Fitz. _That wasn't so bad. _She thought. She turned the corner and bumped into the brunette she saw Eli making out with on her first day back.

"I'm so sorry!" Clare exclaimed, the girl looked at her.

"Don't worry about it." She laughed moving some hair out of her face.

"Are you sure?" Clare asked, the girl nodded.

"I'm Sadie Rowland." The girl said sticking out her hand, Clare shook it.

"I'm Clare Edwards." Clare said smiling.

"I think my boyfriend has mentioned you before." She said. Clare nodded

"We went out for a bit last year, didn't work out." Clare explained Sadie nodded.

"Ok." She said a few seconds later the bell rang signalling the end of lunch.

"I got to go, maybe see you around?" Sadie asked Clare nodded

"Sure, see you around." Clare said before they both went their different ways.

**5th Part**

Fitz arrived at Clare's house, he was so nervous, in fact he was so nervous he thought he was going to have a heart attack. He shook off that feeling though; he needed to look strong in front of Clare. Nervousness was a sign of weakness. He composed himself and walked up to the front door and knocked. A few moments later Clare came and answered the door. He smiled when he saw her.

"Hey Fitz, come in" She said to him stepping aside, Fitz entered her house the familiarity hitting him like a wave.

"Hey Clare, so where's Tyler?" He asked, Clare looked at the staircase.

"Upstairs follow me." She said before beginning to walk up them. Fitz followed her as she walked to Tyler's room. She opened a door that was next to Clare's bedroom. Clare entered the room and walked over to the crib that was to the left of the room. She bent down and picked up a small baby who was dressed in a green shirt with a frog on the front and white pants with green spots and cradled him in her arms. She turned to Fitz who was standing behind her.

"Fitz meet your son Tyler." She said smiling. Fitz couldn't take his eyes away from the small infant that was his son. Tyler's eyes were open and blue and sparkly, he was smiling up at Fitz like he knew that he was looking at his dad. Clare watched as Fitz stared at his son.

"Do you wanna hold him?" She asked. Fitz looked up at her.

"I don't know, what if I drop him?" He asked. Clare shook her head.

"You're going to be fine." She reassured him, he slowly nodded. So Clare moved closer to him and handed him to Fitz's ready arms. She stood back a bit to give them some room. Fitz's face brightened up.

"You're a natural." Clare told him Fitz smiled. He brushed his hand across Tyler's forehead and Tyler giggled and grabbed Fitz's index finger and held it tightly. Fitz looked up at Clare.

"He's the cutest baby I've ever seen." He said, Clare laughed at how Fitz went from being this big tough guy at school to this sweet and sensitive guy cradling his son.

"He's all ours." Clare said smiling Fitz nodded.

"I wouldn't trade him for the world" He said.

**6****th**** Part**

Later that night Clare was walking Fitz to the door,

"Thanks for letting me see him." He said to her, they were just standing in front of the front door, Clare smiled

"It's ok, you can come over anytime you want, you just have to clear it with me first." She told him. Fitz nodded.

"Ok, thanks again." He said to her. He looked into her blue eyes and got butterflies in his stomach and before he could think anymore he leant forward and pressed his lips against Clare's. Clare immediately pulled back.

"Fitz! Why did you kiss me?" Clare exclaimed angrily.

"I-I don't know." He said. Clare looked upset. "I just love you so much Clare, I just want to be with you again." Fitz told her. Clare shook her head.

"Sorry Fitz but you said yourself that you can't forgive me for what I did to you." Clare said.

"I didn't mean what I said last night, I love you Clare." He said grabbing her hands in his. She tried to pull her hands back but he wouldn't let go.

"Fitz please." She said to him. He shook his head

"Clare you love me right?" He asked her looking into her eyes. She took a deep breath

"Yeah I love you Fitz but I don't..." Clare began but Fitz cut her off.

"But nothing, you love me and I love you that's all that matters." Fitz said. Clare shook her head.

"No, we need stability and trust in a relationship." Clare said.

"We have a baby no way are we ever going to have stability and with trust I have trust in you with everything and you have got to trust me with your everything." Fitz said.

"But..." Clare began but was cut off when Fitz's lips crashed against hers. Fitz let go of her hands and placed them around Clare's waist and pulled her to him. Clare wrapped her arms around his neck, they kissed passionately for a few minutes before pulling back for a breath.

**Longest chapter by far, reviews please I hope you all liked that chapter. I'm not very sure where this story will be going now so the next chapter might not be up for a while.**


	23. Chapter 23 9 years later

**Ashamed**

Summary: This is the ending, I'm thinking of writing a sequel but I'm not sure so if you want a sequel please write so in your review. This is how the sequel storyline will go.

**9 years later**

"Mummy, when's dad visiting?"9 year old Tyler Edwards asked his mother who was sitting at her desk proof reading an aspiring writers work. After highschool she and Fitz hadn't worked out, so Clare went off Smithdale to study literature while Tyler stayed behind with his father. After college Clare now worked as one of the bosses of one of those publishing places and Fitz worked at a garage for a living; Clare and he were civil for the sake of their son. Clare looked at her Tyler.

"Tomorrow around lunchtime sweetheart." She told him. Tyler smiled and went to watch TV. Clare sighed, seeing Fitz was a bit pain especially when he insisted on always bringing his new girlfriend of the week. It was like he was trying to show Clare that their break up didn't affect him in any way. Clare heard the phone ring and picked it up.

"Hello Clare speaking." She said into the receiver.

"Hey babe." Said her fiancé Joel Clare smiled.

"Hey honey, how's your business trip?" She asked him.

"It's alright, but I'd prefer to be with you." He said,

"Well you'll just have to hold on." She said.

"Yeah, I just wanted to say goodnight I've got to get to bed, big meeting tomorrow." He said.

"Ok, goodnight." Clare said before they hung up.

Fitz rolled out of bed and groaned. Another hangover, he felt his bed shift he turned and saw his girlfriend Mindy asleep, he rubbed his head. Sure this girl was his girlfriend but to be blunt he didn't really like her at all, he's met her at a bar, and he was planning on taking her with him to see his son Tyler and Clare. He frowned, Clare the woman he was still completely in love with ever since the first day he met her. But she had moved on and would be marrying Joel Stanton. At least he still had Tyler. He got up and pulled on some boxers that were lying next to the bed. He stumbled around his apartment trying to not wake up Mindy. He finally got to the kitchen and swallowed some aspirin and downed some water. He looked at the fridge and saw a picture of him, Tyler and Clare on Tyler's 3rd birthday. He smiled. God did he miss Clare.

**Review please, if you want me to continue the sequel, say so.**


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